When I first saw the bottle of Aqua Velva sitting in my bathroom, I thought it was some sort of artisinal mouth wash.
The next time I saw the bottle, at approximately 6:17 am, after stumbling into my bathroom and turning on the lights, my first thought was, “Aqua Vulva.” As far as I know, “Aqua Vulva” isn’t a superhero or p[[O]]rn star, so I have no idea how or why I thought of this at 6:17 am. Regardless, moments later I knew what I had to do. I was going to transform my brother’s bottle of Aqua Velva into a practical joke.
It’s been days and he’s said nothing! And I know he’s using it. He even takes it to the gym! Imagine that.
“Hey man, what’s that stuff?” a gym rat asks.
“What! You’ve never heard of Aqua Velva?” my brother responds.
“Yeah, of course. I’m a middle aged married man going through a mid-life crisis! But bro, that ain’t Aqua Velva,” the man replies.
“That’s what the bottle says,” my brother says, raising the bottle in the air.
“Well, at least one of us is getting some tonight.”
(( On the bottle’s label, I replaced an ‘E’ with a ‘U’ so the bottle read ‘Aqua Vulva’ instead of ‘Aqua Velva ))