Segway, The First

If you haven’t politely (or even impolitely) asked somebody to move to the right on an escalator, you probably haven’t lived in DC for more than a few years. Or maybe you just belong to the more common subspecies of anatomically modern human commuter known as homo sapiens petroliens and your nemesis isn’t the distracted escalator denizen, but the infamous DC red light camera. Of course, it’s also possible you belong to the subspecies of anatomically modern human commuter known as homo sapiens urbanist cyclistCRAYCRAY, in which case your nemesis includes just about everyone and everything moving in DC.

Oh, and then there are the Segways. Oh you sweet, sweet marvels of technology. If you’ve lived in DC long enough, you’ve definitely seen these beautiful, odd looking machines racing around the mall and downtown DC, tourists following the war cries of their tour guide, much like I imagine soldiers following the war cries of Genghis Khan as he took in the sites of Eurasia. Well, minus the warfare and pillaging.

I think this would make a great painting, by the way. Just imagine Genghis Khan taking over Eurasia with a swift moving army of soldiers riding Segways. Disney?

So what’s my fascination with segways? Well, I recently went on a Segway tour of DC and it was a lot of fun! In fact, even though a bird shit on me while I was riding a segway (what are the odds?!?) and I learned it’s nearly impossible to ride a segway on one foot and no hands, I’d still do it again. It’s fun.

If you’re in DC (or elsewhere), give it a try – at least once.