A Poo In The Least Expected Place

People tend to have very strong feelings about Metro’s red line, but if shitting on a red line platform and leaving the dirtied tissue paper next to your deuce is the only way to express your true feelings about Metro’s inability to make your commute a pleasant experience, I’d urge you to consider the thousands of people who also ride the red line.

If you think your day is bad, imagine stepping in a pile of human shit. In fact, it’s almost possible to empathize with the daily screen zombies who unwittingly step in a pile of human shit. It’s definitely possible to empathize with the Metro worker who has to clean this shit up.

Why am I dropping the digital deuce word all over the place?

This commuting season I saw what, considering its placement and the dirtied accoutrements scattered around it, could only be a strategically placed pile of human shit. Until that morning, I could have honestly said I’ve never seen human shit on a Metro platform. Bird shit, of course. Shitty humans, yes. Human shit? Never. Yet statistically, given humanity’s history and predilection for shitty behaviour, this was bound to occur, right? I just didn’t expect this vistage before my morning cup of coffee.