A Moderate Accumulation of Lethargy

The forecast keeps changing, but the weather seers and soothsayers are calling for a moderate accumulation of snow. As I watch the snow gently cover a landscape tattooed with modernity and industrialization, I’ve translated that forecast into something more relevant.

Today, tonight, and tomorrow expect a moderate accumulation of lethargy with infrequent gusts of sledding, snowmen, and snow forts. An imperial stout advisory is in place.

With snow, the area in which I live and work grinds down to a slow crawl. And by grind, I mean a noisy, incessant, doomsday pitch to run to your local grocer and buy all the essentials so that nothing remains on a shelf. I usually ignore this pitch. Instead, I focus on lining up the essentials for a productive weekend of intentionally doing absolutely nothing – beer, bacon (breakfast), Netflix, and cancelling all standing plans that might require changing out of pajamas. The roads are dangerous, after all. You’ve seen the movies of people driving out of town when an apocalypse is imminent, right? Around here that’s what our roads look like. But with snow and salt.

Thus it’s time to enjoy a stout while watching the snow fall. At least until my kids lose their shit because they’ve been cooped up inside all day.